Surprise!
by Braids21
Summary: [slash Blush] College. For a student, that word can mean so many different things. For me, it was all that and more. [modern day, college!newsies][FINALLY updated Ch4]
1. The Party

**SURPRISE - Ch1. The Party**

**Disclaimer: **SLASH. If you don't like, there's a simple solution... Don't read it! I don't own anything either...

**A/N:** -crawls out from under a rock- I'm BACK, with a venegence! lol. Nothing much else to report, more from me afterwards!

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College. For a student, that word can mean so many different things. Absolute freedom, hard work, crazy times, doing things you never thought you would ever do, partying, 3 am mid-term cramming, finding out who you truly are, making the greatest friends in the world, the list goes on.

For me, college was all those things, and more. And although there were some pretty tough times, I enjoyed every minute of my college experience.

I remember the first day and year like they were yesterday…

"Mom, Dad, can you _try_ not to embarrass me?" I called out as we pulled our over-stuffed car up to my dorm hall.

"CJ, now why ever would we do that?" My dad responded sarcastically, smiling. I simply roll my eyes, praying that my roommate isn't in the room yet.

No such luck. I walked into my postage-stamp sized dorm, and nearly dropped my duffel bag. Why, you ask? My roommate was bending over to put something under the bed, giving me the perfect view of his ass. Before my face could turn red, I coughed a bit to get his attention, and he immediately turned around, giving me more of a reason to blush. Dirty blonde hair that hung down in his eyes, and a smile that could potentially cause more than blushing. He also had an eye patch over his left eye (which he later told me he wore because he was blind in his eye, and the look of it freaked many people out), but even with that flaw, he was perfect.

"Hey, you must be CJ," He greeted me, extending his hand. "I'm Nick. Nice to meet you."

Cue my embarrassing parents barging in the room, my mother squealing about meeting my roommate, the size of my dorm, and anything else a mother could say to embarrass her son.

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur, with the chaotic move-in day schedule leaving no time to breathe, or really get to know people. I barely got time in the first few hours to talk to Nick one-on-one without one of our parents being in the room 'helping' us unpack. And then it was time for parental goodbyes, and we were being shipped off to our orientation groups.

I'm not going to bore you with anything from the orientation shit. Seriously, 'shit' is what orientation was. I got to know and befriend all the people on my floor when we weren't scheduled for ice-breaker games.

Especially with me and Nick. Now, if you hadn't figured out this already, I'm gay. I was semi-out in high school, but really, it was basically just my group of friends who knew. I wasn't that self-confident in myself on the very first day I was meeting these people, to proclaim myself a rainbow-loving queer. So of course when I was telling Nick about myself, that teeny-tiny detail was left out of my description.

Unfortunately for me, when Nick told about himself, he launched into a full scale description about his girlfriend Kaila, who was going to college back in Florida.

Why was I cursed with a Greek God for a roommate who just happened to be one of the straightest guys I knew?

Orientation was long and boring, but once that was over, classes began, and we had little to no time to breathe.

A little over a week after classes began was Nick's birthday. Nick and I had gotten to be rather close, and it was apparent to everyone who knew us, as we were basically always together. So, when I realized Nick's birthday was coming up (thank _God_ for Facebook reminders!), I knew I had to do something for him.

So what did I do? I planned a surprise party for him in our dorm. I knew it would work, because he had a class from three to four-fifteen on his birthday, so I planned to have everyone in our room by four. Being on a low college budget, I improvised on the decorations… Neon colored post-its all over the walls as 'confetti,' sharpie-colored notebook paper as the banners. I also baked a batch of my special peanut butter cookies, just for him, because he had told me that he loves peanut butter.

Anyway, the surprise went off smoothly. When Nick walked in, his face was especially funny to watch, as he was completely surprised.

Time came for him to blow out our 'pretend' candles (tooth picks) and sing Happy Birthday, and then another surprise came, both to him and me.

One of our friends, Kurt, spoke up, holding up a bottle of Stewart's Orange Soda. "I guess I should explain this… it's a tradition between my friends at home that we pass around this bottle and everyone says something to the birthday guy, taking a sip as we go along."

My mind started spinning, as to what I was going to say. So many things filled my head, but I couldn't say them out loud. You have no idea how much I wanted just to confess to Nick right then and there, but I refrained myself.

I was handed the bottle, and everyone's attention landed on me. "Um, well, I guess I should start out with a simple Happy Birthday. I've only known you for about a week, but already I know you and I are going to be great friends,"

_and how I wish we could be more,_

"No one could have asked for a better roommate. I will admit I was extremely nervous about meeting you, as we have to live in this tiny room for a whole year together, but after that first night, I knew I had nothing to be worried about. As you can see, I went through all this trouble just for you, as I know it kinda sucks having your birthday a week into college, and I know you're missing Kaila,"

…_why do you have to be straight?_

"So yeah, I guess I should wrap this up now. Happy Birthday, Nick!" I salute the bottle towards Nick, and take a sip, passing it to my friend Emily on my right.

I locked eyes with Nick after I finished, and he smiled at me, sending my heart into a panic.

"God, CJ," Emily started her turn, "I'm supposed to follow that pile of mush?"

Everyone cracked up at that, calling me a sap, but I don't care. I said what was in my heart. I just hoped that Nick wouldn't think too much into it. Emily continued her turn, and eventually the bottle gets to Nick.

"Wow," Nick gingerly handled the bottle, looking a bit overwhelmed. "Thanks guys. I really don't know what to say… This means so much to me, knowing how little we all actually know about each other. Thanks again." With that, he chugged the rest of the bottle.

After that, the party wound down with everyone deserting Nick and I to go to Servo. I survey the room, Doritos crushed on my floor, soda spilt on my sheets, mentally cursing my friends for being such pigs, while Nick just looked at me.

I noticed him staring, caught off guard. "What?"

He smiled again, and sits down on his bed. "You're something else, you know that?"

I laughed, sitting on my bed, facing him. "I wanted you to have a good birthday, and a surprise party was my first thought… So I went with it!"

"Thank you. And I really mean that. No one has ever thrown me a surprise party before, and I've always wanted one. And that speech? I really am lucky to have you as my roommate, CJ."

That feeling in the pit of my stomach comes back, full force. I almost, _almost_, confessed everything then and there. But instead I just smiled, and thanked him. "I meant every word of it, ya know."

He glanced at me, catching my eyes. "I know."

And we stayed that way for a few moments, staring into each other's eyes. But it only lasted a couple seconds before Nick broke the gaze, immediately getting up from his bed, changing his whole position.

"So, uh, do you wanna head over to Servo?" I noticed the nervousness in his voice right away.

All throughout dinner, Nick tried his best to not look at me. I'm naturally a people-watcher, so I picked up on this habit pretty quickly. Something was up with him. That few-second eye contact had thrown him out of whack for some reason. In the back of my mind, a tiny voice was saying the reason for this was that he realized that he was madly in love with me, but I knew that was not the truth. I also got a little freaked out after the thought occurred to me that he guessed that I was gay and madly in love with _him_ and hated it. But I pushed that thought out of my head since I desperately did not want that to be the case.

Nick's nervous-type ignorance of me continued the rest of the night, but I wasn't really in the mood to question it, especially if it meant explaining things. I chose to let it go, hoping that whatever was happening in Nick's mind would be worked out by morning.

It wasn't.

We barely spoke a word to each other getting ready in the morning, and it really got me thinking. I didn't even know what I did.

But was it me, or was Nick staring at my bare chest when I changed into my jeans?

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**A/N: **I'd just like to let you all know that this is based off of certain events that have happened at my college so far. Some have happened, some haven't, some most likely never will. lol. CJ and Nick are based off of real people, and the events of the surprise party of 99 true. (that speech truly happened. Not verbatim, but close to it.)  
Oh, and if you had no idea what Servo was, it's the dining center at Gettysburg College. :-)

Anyway, the second chapter of this fic is already written, but I'm not going to post it until I finish the third chapter. (But just so you know, I started writing this fic three days ago, and I already finished two chapters...) It's probably going to be a 3-5 chapter fic (I have it outlined, but with my outlines sometimes things get to long, and I have to change chapters and such... haha)

Well, enough babble from me... It's your turn now... **_REVIEW!_**

**-Braids**


	2. The Fateful Night

**SURPRISE! Ch2 - The Fateful Night**

**Disclaimer: **Slash. Don't like it? Then why did you even read the first chapter? I don't own anything either

**A/N:** The 2nd chapter is out within a week! woot! lol Anywho, more from me afterwards. Enjoy!

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That day, my friends definitely noticed something going on between Nick and me. It was actually really obvious to them, as we went from being practically attached at the hip to not speaking at all. Especially that this happened the day after the surprise party. And I still had no idea what the heck I did.

That slight moment I noticed him staring at me while changing got my mind spinning. Why was he staring at me like that? Had that miniscule eye contact had that profound an effect on him?

I knew I had to talk to him to figure out why we all of a sudden speaking.

I chose to do this right after dinner, when the two of us were sitting alone in our dorm trying (and failing) to do homework. By that time, we probably have said a total of ten words to each other all day.

"Nick?" I ventured, breaking the silence, sending us into a tension-filled conversation.

Nick sighed, and pulled off his iPod, turning to face me. "What do you want?"

"Uh… I was just wondering why I was given the silent treatment today, because I honestly have no idea what I did."

Nick coughed, my first indication he wasn't comfortable with the way this conversation was heading. "I… You… You were hitting on me last night!"

Woah, what? I froze, my eyes growing wide. How was I supposed to respond to that? I technically wasn't 'hitting' on him at all, but denying that fact was basically denying that I was gay. And I couldn't do that.

"I wasn't hitting on you," I answered, slightly softer than I normally speak.

He eyed me, retorting back. "Well, then what do you call what happened last night? Throwing that party, those words you said… you were practically lusting after me!"

I dropped my eyes, knowing what I had to do. "I promise you, I wasn't hitting on you. But I do have something to confess… Nick, I'm gay."

There. I dropped the bomb, and it was out in the open.

Nick was quiet for almost a minute. When he finally spoke up, I didn't like what I heard. "Great. Just great. I'm stuck living for the rest of the year with a faggot, who probably jerks off thinking of me naked. Abso-fuckin'-lutely great."

I basically stared, eyes wide, jaw dropped at his outburst. I stammered for a response. "But… Nick… I swear, I don't… I…"

"Whatever," Nick quipped, as he quickly stood up, put his flip flops on, and grabbed his key. "I gotta get out of here… I'll be back later," he called over his shoulder, as he exited the room, slamming the door.

I had no idea he was going to act like that. And now he was going to tell all our friends. Shit.

The only thing I could think of to do at that moment was to start coming out to my friends before Nick outs me.

I hesitantly opened my door, walked into the hallway, and knocked on the door across the hallway. It was Emily and Teri's room, two girls that I have gotten to be pretty close friends with, and the two people who I could count on to be supportive.

Emily opened the door, her face immediately changing to concern. I guessed my facial expression gave away something. "CJ, what's wrong?"

"Can I talk to you? It's important."

She ushered me, insisting that I wasn't bothering her.

I finally worked up the nerve to say it. "Ems, I'm gay."

She smiled a bit. "Is that it? Because if it is, that's nothing to be worried about."

I almost laughed, wishing that were the case. The rest of the story came tumbling out of my mouth, and by the end, Emily was in shock. She couldn't believe that Nick would say such a thing to me.

We were both quiet for a bit after I finished, and then I heard a suppressed laugh coming from Emily's mouth.

I looked at her as if she was crazy. "Why are you laughing at me?"

She giggled. "Oh no, I'm not. It's just… I guess I should say that we all, well at least all the girls thought you were gay. And that you and Nick would be perfect together."

Hearing that, I snorted, which lead Emily to laugh even more. I eventually broke down in peels of laughter, the whole concept of my friends wanting me and Nick together playing continuously through my brain.

After a few more minutes of hysterical laughter, I thanked Emily, and headed back over to my room, more confident in myself than I had been in a long time.

Unfortunately, Nick and three other guys from my floor were in there as well. I stood in the doorway, the four of them glaring at me.

"Well, if it isn't Queer Boy," Nick hissed at me, causing the rest of the guys to crack up.

Mustering as much of that new self-confidence as I could, I replied, "Oh, you're _so _mature, Nick. We're in college now, so stop pulling this high school bullshit."

"Whatever. Just don't try any shit on me, got it?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, honey, don't flatter yourself too much. You really aren't that hot," I added, which caused Nick to get all huffy, and he stormed out of the room, followed by the rest of his group. I felt almost guilty, as those words I just said were no where near the truth. But Nick was being extremely dick-y, so I had to.

Needless to say, I figured out that night that college freshman males are no different mature-wise than high school senior males. By the next morning, the guys on my floor were calling me many derogatory nicknames, including Q.B., and BJ instead of CJ.

I suffered through it, happy that I at least had Emily and the rest of the girls to support me. But the thing that kept me so damn confused was that Nick seemed to have a complete change of personality ever since that slight eye contact the night of the surprise party. I caught him staring at me for Christ's sake. Why all of a sudden is he bashing me? I didn't get it.

Weeks turn into months; the ever-constant slippage of names never seemed to end. Nick and I continued to hardly speak, a feat that caused some trouble when you're living in a room the size of a doughnut. I basically seceded from my room and moved into Emily's room, only going into my room to sleep and such.

And then that fateful night occurred.

It was the last night before Christmas break, and Nick and basically everyone on our floor had gone off to get drunk at a raging frat 'Holiday Toga Party,' but I had chosen to be anti-social and pack my room, as I was leaving pretty early the next morning.

Nick walked in around two-thirty in the morning, staggering and half-slurring his words. I was awake at that time, but in bed with the lights out, trying to eventually fall asleep. But my senses and body were jolted awake when Nick, smelling strongly of vodka, not-so-gently slipped into my bed.

"Oh Mushy… I'm so sorry I did that to you… Can you ever forgive me, Mush?" Nick slurred, wrapping his arm around my body.

First off, I froze on my bed. One, because I was simply in shock of the fact that Nick was trying to cuddle with me, and two, because I had no idea who the heck Mush was.

I finally found my voice. "Um, Nick? Care to explain?"

He giggled a bit. "You're my Mush because your speech at my party back in September was full of mushy words. And that's why I like you so much, but…" he trailed off, poking me in the side. "I had to hide it because I was scared. Forgive me?"

I had no idea how to react to that. Yes, I knew he was drunk and wasn't thinking about what he was saying, but still… Don't people normally tell more of the truth when they're drunk?

Nick apparently took my silent hesitation as a cue that I forgave him, and he not-so-subtly added more onto his drunken confession. "I'm gonna kiss you now, ok?"

He sloppily pushed his mouth against mine. I had fantasized about Nick and I kissing, and let me tell you, this was _not_ the way I had pictured our first kiss. To describe the kiss as messy is an understatement. His breath literally reeked of alcohol, which to a sober person, is completely disgusting. Honestly, I didn't really enjoy it.

The mess-of-a-kiss lasted only about twenty seconds before Nick pulled away. "I'mma go to sleep now…. I'se tired…" Nick yawned, plopping his head down on my chest, and promptly falling asleep.

Leaving me confused as ever.

Nick just _kissed_ me. He confessed that he liked me too. That was definitely one of those 'what the fuck?' moments.

I lay there in my bed, with Nick snoring away (and drooling a bit, I might add) on my stomach. What was I to do? I couldn't move, as I didn't want to wake him.

One thought crossed my mind, and I did not want to have to deal with the repercussions, but I knew I was going to have to. What was going to happen in the morning?

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**A/N:** My muses went crazy on me. I was writing the third chapter, and something happened that controdicted this chapter, and I had to rewrite this one. And then I had to rewrite my outline. haha I heart my muses. lol

I'm actually watching Newsies as I type this! lol It's the first time I've watched it in over like six months. But I did spread the Newsies-love to my college friends. :-)

Well anywho, enough of my babbling again. _REVIEW!_

**-Braids-**


	3. The Next Morning

**SURPISE! Ch 3 - The Next Morning**

**Disclaimer: **Slash. I think you should know that by now. And I don't own anything either.

**A/N:** yay 3rd chapter. enjoy!

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"Holy. Fucking. Shit."

Those were the words I awoke to the next morning. Nick practically jumped off of me, and began uttering more curse words, not looking at me.

Not knowing whether I should say anything or not, I calmly sat up, and greeted Nick like nothing had happened. "Good morning to you too."

I glanced over at Nick, who was now sitting on his bed, his head in his hand, breathing quite heavily. He had ignored my first comment, so I decided to venture again. "Nick? Are you ok?"

His head lifted from his hand, and upon laying his eye upon my own, his face grew hard. I was in for a _fun_ time for this conversation…

"Why the fuck was I in your bed? You sick pervert, trying to take advantage of me when I'm friggin' drunk," Nick ranted.

I actually let out a loud snort at that point, causing Nick to glare at me even more. "I think you have it all wrong, Nick. From what I remember about last night, which, by the way, I was _sober_ so I actually remember it, you were the one who was coming on to me."

For a split second, I swear I saw fear flicker through his right eye, but it was gone before I really got a chance to know for sure.

"Oh that's so clever of you, CJ. Keep making up the stories. We both know the truth. You are so disgusting. I really need to shower to get your… _germs_… off of me."

I was getting really fed up with his denial. "Cut the crap Nick. You want the entire truth? Because you obviously don't remember shit from last night, so I'll tell you. You came in here, piss drunk, and crawled into my bed, confessed that you liked me, and kissed me. Oh, and you called me Mush as well, although I forget at this point what that meant."

Panic was written all across Nick's face, and he didn't make eye contact with me. That meant everything he had said last night was the truth. _Holy shit._

We sat there in silence for a few seconds, before I broke the tension. "Nick? Is the stuff you said last night the truth? How you were scared of what it meant to feel that way?"

He slowly lifted his head up, locking his gaze with mine. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. I knew just by that eye contact that it was, and I could also tell that he was scared shitless.

"It's ok, Nick. I was confused and scared once too. But there's nothing to be afraid of," I responded softly, smiling gently.

He looked down as his hands, wringing them nervously. "But… but what about Kaila? I love her… Or at least I thought I did… Oh god, what's going on with me?"

Oh crap. I had forgotten he had a girlfriend. That complicated things a bit, and I honestly had no idea how to answer him.

I gently rested my hand on his shoulder, softly whispering to him. "Everything will work out. Give it time."

All of a sudden, he jerked his shoulder out from under my hand, and stood up. "Don't touch me. You're the one who started this, CJ. Just… just stay away from me, and leave me alone!" Nick shouted, backing away from me, and finally fleeing the room. The door slammed behind him, leaving me bewildered and stunned.

What the fuck had just happened? Twenty four hours ago I was all set to go home so I wouldn't have to deal with Nick's homophobic behavior for an entire month, and now _this_?

I needed to talk to someone. I quietly opened my door, peeking out to make sure the hallway was clear. It thankfully was, so I scurried across the hall and knocked on Emily's room.

She opened the door, looking like she just got out of bed, which probably was the truth. "CJ? Why the heck are you waking me up this early?"

I couldn't help it, so I just blurted it out right then and there. "Nick kissed me last night."

"WHAT?" She exclaimed, her eyes growing wide and mouth dropping in shock. "Details. Now."

She ushered me inside her room, and I retold the events of the night before, concluding with Nick's confession and outburst.

When I was finished, she simply shook her head. "Ya know, I had a feeling that Nick was just trying to cover up something. But that's just wrong what he did to you. But I have to admit, calling you Mush is just so damn cute!"

I rolled my eyes at that comment. Leave it to Emily to think something Nick did was cute.

My cell phone rang at that moment, and it was my parents calling to tell me they were at the college and ready for me to load some stuff into my car. I told Emily goodbye, promising to call her over break, and headed back to my room.

As I walked across the hall to my dorm, I actually hoped Nick would be in the room so we could sort-of talk this _thing _through. Unfortunately, he wasn't there.

I scribbled a note to Nick, and left it on his desk.

"_Nick, please call me sometime over break. We really need to talk about what happened last night and this morning. Have fun over break! –CJ"_

Just as I was about to leave the room, Nick burst through the door. We kinda stood in an awkward silence for a minute or two before Nick finally spoke up. "So… You're leaving already?"

I shrugged, looking down at the two duffel bags in my hands. "Yeah, my parents are outside waiting."

Nick was obviously nervous, as he kept wringing his hands. "Uh, CJ, look… before you leave… I… I'm sorry," he barely whispered the last two words.

My mouth slightly turned up into a smile. I knew he was trying. "It's ok Nick." The awkward silence returned again, and I broke it a few seconds later. "I guess I should go now. Have a fun break, and don't hesitate to call me. I mean that."

"Thanks. You too," Nick replied, and I started to head out the door. "Wait, I, uh…"

I stopped and turned around. "What's up?"

Nick took a deep breath, and quickly walked toward me. Before I knew it, Nick's mouth was on mine, kissing me hard. Since I was caught off guard, I dropped my duffel bags and stumbled backwards into our closet door. That kiss was entirely different from the night before. This time, I enjoyed it. This time, I knew it was right. Nick's tongue ran along my lips, and I granted him entrance. He had me pinned up against the wall, and he used that to his advantage, crushing our bodies together, getting closer than we ever have been.

And of course, that was the _perfect_ time for my cell to vibrate again. We quickly separated, and I answered the call, which was my parents yelling at me to get my butt outside.

I hung up the call, and turned to face Nick, who was blushing to the tips of his ears and breathing hard. "I gotta go… My parents are waiting outside for me," I uttered uneasily, still not fully comprehending what had just happened.

"Yeah… well… I'll guess I'll talk to you over break?" He ventured, glancing up at me hopefully.

I smiled. "Definitely. Goodbye then." He smiled back at me, and I finally exited the room.

The entire ride home, I could not stop thinking about that kiss. Why had Nick changed so fast? He went from hating my guts to making out with me in like five minutes. Yes, I liked the kiss, a lot actually, but I had some lingering doubts in my mind. A thought crossed my mind, and those doubts appeared even more. He still had a girlfriend, whom he'd be seeing over break. What was going to happen with that?

By the time I got home three hours later, I made up my mind that Nick and I needed to have a serious talk. Was Nick truly gay, was he just plain confused, or was he just trying to mess with me? I needed these answers.

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**A/N: **Didn't plan on that happening then, but my muses went crazy on me. lol.

Honestly, I don't have anything written of the 4th chapter yet, but I wanted to post this to try to get my lazy butt into writing it. So I have no idea when the next chapter will be out... Hopefully it won't be that long.

Anyway, reviews would be greatly appreciated, so press the button and REVIEW!

**-Braids**


	4. First Day Back

**SURPRISE! Ch4 - First Day Back**

**Disclaimer: **Slash. You should have gotten the message by now anyway. And I don't own anything either.

**A/N:** Yeah... this chapter is extremely overdue. So enjoy it and more from me afterwards. :-)

* * *

Well. Over the month-long winter break, I never once got a chance to get the answers I needed.

I had left Nick numerous Facebook messages, text messages, and even voice mails, but the only thing I ever got back was one text saying "I can't talk now. Call me later."

And according to his Facebook (which is always where a college student goes to find, or I mean stalk, people and the events that happened in their lives), he was still happily 'in a relationship' with Kaila. Plus, there was even pictures to prove that happiness. And of course, every time Nick was tagged in a picture, it was always one with Kaila hanging all over him. Every time I saw one of those pictures, any hope I had that Nick was actually sincere that last day before break slightly declined.

I arrived back on campus to Nick already in our room, unpacking.

To say the initial conversations were awkward was an understatement. We tried to make some small talk, asking how each other's breaks were, and so on. Finally, I decided to break the ice, mostly because I wanted answers.

"So. Why didn't you return _any_ of my calls or messages?"

Nick immediately became on guard. "I'm sorry. I meant to call you back all those times… I really did mean to get back to you."

I simply rolled my eyes. "Well, we both are here now, so I need to get this out in the open. Did you really mean to do what you did that day? The kiss, I mean. 'Cause I really need to know."

Nick would not make eye contact with me, and had resorted to playing with the ties on his hooded sweatshirt. "Uhhh... I don't know?" He answered questionably, not giving me a straight answer.

"Look, it's not that difficult of a question. Did you like making out with me or not?"

"Well, yeah, I did…"

I smiled a bit at that remark. "So, you like boys then." I said matter-of-factly.

Nick's head shot up. "No!" He cried out, his good eye looking like a deer in a headlight, but immediately caught himself. "I mean, I… Well, Kaila's a girl and I still like her…" He trailed off.

At the Kaila-comment, everything changed. "Of course. I knew you were just playing with me."

"Ceej, no, I swear, I'm not. It's just…"

"Just what? Just that you like fucking with people's minds?"

"No! Will you just listen to me?"

By that time, I was really pissed off, so I started rambling on and on about what he did, cursing my head off. In the middle of my ranting, Nick, I'm guessing, got fed up with me, and cut me off by pressing his lips onto my own.

Almost instantly, I found myself melting into Nick's kiss, my mind whirling with thoughts of how wonderful it felt. But then my better senses kicked in, and I shoved him away. I must have pushed harder than I thought, as Nick wound up falling backward onto his bed, and he stared up at me in shock.

I stood there for a moment, reeling with anger, hurt, and confusion, before I finally found a response. "You do NOT get to kiss me like that. It's…" I trailed off, staring at him, and eventually just gave up. "..It's just not fair."

Without a second glance, I turned my back to Nick and walked out of the room. It basically took all my strength not to turn around when Nick began protesting my exiting. I headed straight for Emily's room, but unfortunately for me, she was not there.

So instead, I opted to go for a walk around campus to clear my head.

He kissed me again. Right after he told me he was still with Kaila. What the hell was I supposed to think of that?

He couldn't just fuck with my emotions like that. First, we were best friends, then he found out I was gay and completely shut me out, then suddenly he confessed everything and kissed me. He had some time to think after that kiss, and I guess came to a decision that it was a mistake. Which I could have eventually dealt with. But then if he still wanted to be with Kaila, _why_ did he kiss me again?

Why did the world hate me?

The boy that I really liked finally kissed me, but no, of course nothing could go perfectly for me. My love life had to be cursed.

After almost making an entire circle around the campus, I finally had an epiphany. Nick was confused about his sexuality. It had to be the case!

I felt really stupid for not having seen it before, as Nick's behavior was basically a classic in the confusion stage. I smiled at my dumb self, and headed back toward the dorms, hoping Nick was still there so we could talk this through.

No such luck.

Well, technically Nick _was_ in our dorm room. But so were all his friends who hate me so much.

As soon as I entered the room, I wished I hadn't, as I heard the ever present call of, "Hey, if it isn't Queer Boy?" from Jack, one of Nick's friends, which was always followed by rounds of laughter as if that was the most hilarious thing any of them has ever heard.

I simply glared at them, putting on a front that I didn't care. But of course, hearing Nick laughing at that comment with his friends hurt so much. Not just because he had kissed me a mere few hours before and might possibly be gay/bisexual/whatever the hell he was, but because… well… I don't know. I guess it was because of the fact that I actually really like him,

I quickly grabbed a jacket (it had gotten cold out), and left the room. But as I was leaving, I heard someone say something along the lines of 'I can't believe you have another entire semester to live with that fag,' to Nick, which I heard him reply just as the door was shutting, "Yeah, I just hope he doesn't try to kiss me like he did last semester."

I almost turned around and corrected them, but I held back my anger. What was up with Nick saying that? _I_ tried to kiss him? What was his problem? I had just come to the happy conclusion that Nick was confused and that's why he had acted that way, but then he went and pulled that crap. I couldn't deal with his mood swings.

For some reason, I thought this semester was going to be different. I had in my head these happy daydreams where Nick and I were together, and everyone would eventually except us for who we were. And even though the Nick-and-I-being-together thing might not happen (at least right now it won't), I wished people would just grow up and stop bashing me. Ok, I know the bashing won't ever completely stop, even after college, but I just… I had enough of this bullshit in high school, and I wanted it to stop.

It wasn't until late that night that Nick and I were able to talk one-on-one. My mind was spinning with what I wanted to say.

I cornered him in our room after he returned. "Nick, we _need_ to talk."

He sighed, but nodded his head in agreement. "Before you say anything, I… I'm sorry… About what my friends said to you earlier."

"But not about what you said back to them?" I retorted back, my anger rising.

He bit his lip. "You heard that?" I nodded. "Shit, you weren't supposed to hear that."

"Oh, so now you're gonna talk shit about me behind my back? Thanks a lot."

"Ceej, please. I had to say that, they expect it from me. But I swear, I don't mean a word of it."

"Whatever, I don't need this crap, especially from you." I pushed past him, trying to get out the room, but he blocked me.

"I thought you said we needed to talk. And we do, in a non-confrontational way."

"Whatever. But just know I am in no mood for bullshit." He nodded meekly, and I continued. "Fine. Then I'm just going to get this out in the open right away… Nick, what are you exact feelings for me?"

With a sigh, Nick muttered, "I knew you were going to ask me that eventually." He took a deep breath, and slowly let it out before responding. "Okay…well… I, kinda, uh…" He sighed again, mumbling under his breath, 'this is harder than I thought.'

I sat down next to him on his bed. "Take your time. I know things like this are hard to say."

He smiled a bit, and took another deep breath. "CJ, I… I think I might be gay. Or bi. Or something… God, I'm so frickin' confused!" He buried his hands in his head in frustration.

Inside, I freaked out. Nick just admitted to me that he might be gay. This was _huge_. But on the outside, I had to play my role, as I knew from experience how hard it was to Nick to even admit that.

I touched his shoulder, trying my hardest to comfort him. "That's a big step, Nick, telling me that. And don't feel like you're the only one feeling that way… Back in sophomore year of high school, I was going through that same confusion. It gets easier, trust me."

Slowly, his hands disappeared from his face, and he smiled at me. "I knew you'd understand."

Suddenly, his lips were on my again. I wasn't sure if kissing him was the smartest idea, but right then and there, I couldn't resist him. I melted against his touch, quickly falling back on his bed, with him on top of me.

The simple kiss had escalated into a full-blown make-out session, complete with groping and hands roaming all over. For someone who was apparently 'confused' about his sexuality, Nick had gone from a straight homophobe to rainbow-loving queer in seconds. As the kiss progressed, I randomly had a thought cross my mind that scared me: Kaila. What was going to happen with that? But that thought disappeared as quickly as it came when Nick went from kissing my lips to my neck, as I went into a complete state of bliss.

Until we were jarred from our blissful state with "HOLY FUCK. You're a _fag_ too?"

Shit. That was _not_ good.

* * *

**A/N:** My muses were all over the place. I literally had to change my outline like five times because of this stupid chapter. haha

So... yeah... This fic won 3rd Place Most Promising Fic in the most recent NML FF Awards (thanks to anyone who vote for it!), and because of that, I was inspired/encouraged to write this chapter. YAY.

In other news, I've been extremely busy with college and such (second semester just started... yippe... lol), and I don't have anything (besides an outline) for the next chapter, so I don't know when the next chapter will be out... Sometime relatively soon, hopefully.

A big THANK YOU to all my loverly reviewers, and as you all know, it's that time again... REVIEW:-)

**-Braids**


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